Monday, September 29, 2008
"radical worship"/ the lords generation
Its arising all around. We see these kids and teenagers get saved and freed and radically transformed. The Lord is doing something amazing in their lives and their worship is unlike anything the church has seen. These kids are being set free from crack, depression, prostitution, alcoholism, anything you can think of these kids have been there done that. They experience God and they go after Him with everything they have. We are seeing it more and more. They are gathering in the masses the sound coming out of them is something new. They aren't singing of what they are going to get from God or what they are going to do when they get to heaven but they are singing about war, they are dancing whole heatedly, when they don't know what else to say they say "HOLY HOLY HOLY" "WORTHY WORTHY" They live to praise the King of all.
The church calls this "radical worship" they call it "crazy kids" they call it a "phase" they say its not of God we shouldn't have someone who was a crack addict yesterday in our church jumping around. But in the bible it says that "those are forgiven much love much and those who are forgiven little love little" 1. Luke 7:47. I don't think its a matter of how much one has sinned or came out of but how much they realize it. They know that if He hadn't rescued them that they would be dead or dying. It also is not limited to the arising generation, there are people from every generation alive who are experiencing the Spirit of God in this way.
I think that when this worship/intercession/danci ng is labeled as "radical worship it is totally wrong. I believe that what is arising is not some new fad or some type of cultural thing that is occurring but that it is the Spirit of God being poured out as in Joel 2. That we are embarking on war. This "type" of worship is nothing new. In the old testament we see it always coming before the presence of the Lord. When David and his "crew" were taking the ark of the covenant they went before it dancing and worshiping so hard that David lost his clothing and his wife told him that he made a fool out of himself. During a time of war, the worshipers were always put on the front lines.
Its in our bones. Its something etched so deep within us that when given the opportunity to let it out it just flows. We are that front line going into battle.
This video kinda sums it up what I'm trying to say. We are the Lords generation. The people who name generations decided to call us Generation Next. They don't know what is going to happen with this generation. Its time for this generation to awaken. They have killed 1/3 of us. They look at us and they see all the junk, all the addictions, the rebellion and they don't know what to do with us, they see us as hopeless as dry bones. But its time for those who are dead and dying spiritually to arise, to awaken. Although the church may see us as dead, beyond hope we can see an ARMY ARISING! May we be awakened! OH and if you see me jumping its because the Lord set me free!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi-Brg-B_kw
The church calls this "radical worship" they call it "crazy kids" they call it a "phase" they say its not of God we shouldn't have someone who was a crack addict yesterday in our church jumping around. But in the bible it says that "those are forgiven much love much and those who are forgiven little love little" 1. Luke 7:47. I don't think its a matter of how much one has sinned or came out of but how much they realize it. They know that if He hadn't rescued them that they would be dead or dying. It also is not limited to the arising generation, there are people from every generation alive who are experiencing the Spirit of God in this way.
I think that when this worship/intercession/danci ng is labeled as "radical worship it is totally wrong. I believe that what is arising is not some new fad or some type of cultural thing that is occurring but that it is the Spirit of God being poured out as in Joel 2. That we are embarking on war. This "type" of worship is nothing new. In the old testament we see it always coming before the presence of the Lord. When David and his "crew" were taking the ark of the covenant they went before it dancing and worshiping so hard that David lost his clothing and his wife told him that he made a fool out of himself. During a time of war, the worshipers were always put on the front lines.
Its in our bones. Its something etched so deep within us that when given the opportunity to let it out it just flows. We are that front line going into battle.
This video kinda sums it up what I'm trying to say. We are the Lords generation. The people who name generations decided to call us Generation Next. They don't know what is going to happen with this generation. Its time for this generation to awaken. They have killed 1/3 of us. They look at us and they see all the junk, all the addictions, the rebellion and they don't know what to do with us, they see us as hopeless as dry bones. But its time for those who are dead and dying spiritually to arise, to awaken. Although the church may see us as dead, beyond hope we can see an ARMY ARISING! May we be awakened! OH and if you see me jumping its because the Lord set me free!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi-Brg-B_kw
Sunday, September 28, 2008
In the beginning
In the beginning God saw everything when love went wandering into the night.
Was I first or last?
Was I second best?
These questions quickly pass into the light.
At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I'll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own.
When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe.
At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I'll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own~~
This is a song on the new CD by Jason Upton. This worship leader has influenced my life a lot. All of his stuff speaks to my heart like a sword. The part of this song that gets me the most is the part where he says "When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe" My vision died. More like I murdered it. I said that I didnt want the dreams and visions. I didn't want to know and see what "normal" Christians didnt know or see. He had taken me up to a place where He could show me stuff, things of the spirit that He wanted me to share. He specifically told me to be a voice. to sound the trumpet. When it got to the point that I needed to stand out and use my voice I got scared. I said that if I had to offend people then I didn't want these dreams and visions to continue. I didnt want to be put in a place to speak into peoples lives. You know why? Its because I didnt want to be wrong. I didnt want to put myself in a place where I say something but I got it wrong or it was something people didnt want to hear and then they would be mad at me. The past month, since I've moved back home and allowing my pastors to speak into my life and opening myself up to the Word of God and allowing myself to be shattered, The Lord has really begun to speak to me Reminding me that if I want my vision back He has it. and He wants me to have it back, only I have to become that voice. In fighting this I have discovered that I will never be complete if I try to do something else. If I try to go about my life without surrendering to His callings and anointings on my life. If I try to get what I want and not what He wants that I will never be truely happy. I will not be truely me. Who He created me to be. I dont want to stand face to face with God and feeling so ashmed because of what I could have done but didnt because I was to selfish. I dont know what this is going to look like but I want that vision back the ablity to see from that place He took me. So here goes nothing, but everything all at the same time.
In the beginning God saw everything when love went wandering into the night.
Was I first or last?
Was I second best?
These questions quickly pass into the light.
At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I'll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own.
When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe.
At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I'll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own~~
This is a song on the new CD by Jason Upton. This worship leader has influenced my life a lot. All of his stuff speaks to my heart like a sword. The part of this song that gets me the most is the part where he says "When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe" My vision died. More like I murdered it. I said that I didnt want the dreams and visions. I didn't want to know and see what "normal" Christians didnt know or see. He had taken me up to a place where He could show me stuff, things of the spirit that He wanted me to share. He specifically told me to be a voice. to sound the trumpet. When it got to the point that I needed to stand out and use my voice I got scared. I said that if I had to offend people then I didn't want these dreams and visions to continue. I didnt want to be put in a place to speak into peoples lives. You know why? Its because I didnt want to be wrong. I didnt want to put myself in a place where I say something but I got it wrong or it was something people didnt want to hear and then they would be mad at me. The past month, since I've moved back home and allowing my pastors to speak into my life and opening myself up to the Word of God and allowing myself to be shattered, The Lord has really begun to speak to me Reminding me that if I want my vision back He has it. and He wants me to have it back, only I have to become that voice. In fighting this I have discovered that I will never be complete if I try to do something else. If I try to go about my life without surrendering to His callings and anointings on my life. If I try to get what I want and not what He wants that I will never be truely happy. I will not be truely me. Who He created me to be. I dont want to stand face to face with God and feeling so ashmed because of what I could have done but didnt because I was to selfish. I dont know what this is going to look like but I want that vision back the ablity to see from that place He took me. So here goes nothing, but everything all at the same time.
Friday, September 19, 2008
"Don't Stop"
Something I wrote a few years ago when I was getting really frustrated with the 2 songs/offering/1 song worship part of the service. Things in the church I'm at have changed a lot since those days. They don't really stay on schedule like they used to. It's amazing. This poem isn't really about them though. Its something that is speaking to my heart even now as I read it. Be blessed.
"Don't Stop"
As the vocalists harmonize,
and the instruments play,
you enter right in
with your worship and praise.
You feel your heart soften,
and soon the Spirit-led song
becomes a one-on-one moment
as you sing your love song
to the King right before you.
No one else in the room,
caught up in His presence,
where it's only Jesus and you,
and justa s you reach out
to touch His sweet face,
the vocalists stop singing,
music no longer plays.
As the micraphone crackles,
you hear a voice sound,
"Amen. Yesssss. Praise God.
You may all be seated."
You're seated with sadness,
another voice speaks
"Don't stop, my darling,
always,
everywhere,
worship Me.
Instruments need not play,
and voices need not sing
to bring you into my presence
because, my child,
I never leave."
"Don't Stop"
As the vocalists harmonize,
and the instruments play,
you enter right in
with your worship and praise.
You feel your heart soften,
and soon the Spirit-led song
becomes a one-on-one moment
as you sing your love song
to the King right before you.
No one else in the room,
caught up in His presence,
where it's only Jesus and you,
and justa s you reach out
to touch His sweet face,
the vocalists stop singing,
music no longer plays.
As the micraphone crackles,
you hear a voice sound,
"Amen. Yesssss. Praise God.
You may all be seated."
You're seated with sadness,
another voice speaks
"Don't stop, my darling,
always,
everywhere,
worship Me.
Instruments need not play,
and voices need not sing
to bring you into my presence
because, my child,
I never leave."
Thursday, September 18, 2008
This is a story about a girl.
In reading my past journals, poetry and artwork, I am so ashamed of where I am now compared to then. No longer do I know that 14, 15, 16 year old who wrote, danced, drew, lived a life of abandonment. She was so passionate, so in love, so desperate for God. She didnt care what people said or thought about her. She worshipped without care, she loved people, she couldnt get enough of the Word, she had dreams and visions, she soaked in all she could like a sponge.
The churh hurt her, she lost her innocence, that girl slowly died.
She experienced and over came a lot of pain in her life prior to coming to Christ in 2004. Most of it from her family, and a large amount from the church people. When she was about 12 her 17 year old cousin tried to kill her. He got mad at her because she wouldnt do what he said. He reasoned, "well I'm older than you so you have to do what I say." She really thought she was going to die that day. Then her grandmother came to the rescue screaming and hitting her cousin (who held the girl by her neck suffocating the life out of her). He let go and ran out of the house so angry while the young girl collapsed on the floor trying to gain her breath.
In the years before and after that incident, her father never played an active role in her life. he was there in her life but he didn't treat her as his little girl. He had his son who was 20 months younger than her and born on his dad's birthday. All little girls need to be loved and cherished by their dads. Its just how we are made. Its how God created us. Whenever that father doesn't take time with his daughter, it leaves a hole in her heart that only a father is able to fill. (the same thing goes for boys, but this is my story and I'm not a boy)
These wounded girls reach adolecence with a wounded heart longing for it to be filled. The majority of them turn to guys, mostly older ones. Some of them turn to drugs, become very depressed. They try to fill the void with basicly anything that comes along. What they don't realize is all of these things will only make that wound worse. It will become like an infecton. Overtaking them and slowly killing them emotionally, physcally and spiritually.
Something else they don't know is the healing that they can recieve. That hole can be healed and filled with the love of Father God. Lukily for the girl in my story, God intervened. All of the searching that she may have put into guys, drugs or alcohol, she put into searching out this God. At a Pure Freedom conference hosted by Dannah Gresh in 2004, she came to realize the love of the Father. She made a commitment that weekend not to date during her highschool years, not to touch alcohol or drugs. To seek out this God who poured out all of Himself for her.
For the next two and a half years she went deeper and deeper. There were times where she wondered what am I doing? Why don't I just give in and be like everyone else? She wrote many times in her journal that she longed to be understood by people, to be "normal" but she would always go on to ask what defines normality. There were a lot of times in her journey where it was so hard for her. There were a lot of things she didn't understand but she just kept going deeper.
Her youth called her a little fireball and they let her loose during drama practice and sunday night worship. They didn't understand why she didnt really like going bowling or to play paintball but everytime there was a conference that she pushed for it to happen. Her youth pastor and his wife meant a lot to her. They mentored her as much as they could, but the dreams and visions came. Heather (the youth pastor's wife) understood sensitivity to the spirit but didn't really help out much with the dreams and visions situation so the girl kept them to herself.
The youth pastor was asked to leave the church for various reasons and the girl was devastated. She wanted to know why they were "kicked out" she thought it was because the church didn't like what the Lord was doing in the youth group, she thought that the church was being legalistic. She said some hurtful things to the pastors wife who tried to comfort her and the girl left. She walked out of that church promising to never return.
There was a church down the street that her best friend invited her to. She decided to try it out because she had known the youth pastor there since middle school and he was a pretty interesting dude. There were also a lot of students she knew who went to church there. She went and within 2 months was invited to become part of the core leadership of the youth group in a program they were going to start called the Apprenticeship. She said sure.
At the beginning of the school year she signed a contract saying that she would not listen to secular music (which she didnt like anyway), that she would not date (which she already didnt do), and various other things. it wasnt out of legalism that she signed this but because she had strong convictions on those things and that was the lifestyle she was living.
By December of that year which was her senior year in highschool she was starting to doubt the existance of God. The same God who had rescued her, who had kept her, who had admired her, who loved her and cherished her. She knew deep down that no matter what He was real but she just couldnt wrap her mind around it anymore. She had stopped the writing, the drawing, the dancing. The people in this new church were about keeping a low key and not offending people. She was conforming.
She was in so much pain and despair. By basicly tuning out the God that had done so much in her life, all the hurts from her past came flooding back. She couldn't sleep. She was angry and becoming very bitter towards everyone. She met a lady named Sharon. They went to a conference, God showed up, and this girl broke down. She began to dance again, she began to love again. Her life was shattered in pieces but she was whole again. God opened up something totally new to her and it was great to know that she hadn't strayed to far to be able to hear His voice.
Graduation came and went. That summer was a great one for the girl, but it was also a hard one. She was experiencing God in a new way. This lady who she had met was now councilling her. She was being mentored and it was great. They went to theCall Nashville. 07-07-07 a day of covenants. It was a beautiful. The girl heard the voice of God. Her eyes were opened to the spiritual world once again. She was that girl again.
College happened. She was so excited for her first year at a "christian" school. It would be great. She would be able to be so open and free. She would grow so much. Thats what she thought. She was terribly wrong. When she got there within the first 2 weeks she was thinking she made a terrible mistake. She had some great friends but there were limitations on a lot of things. There was no praying in spiritual languages, even whispers in chapel. There was not a lot of movement for worship and if you did you were condemned. At one point in time she was even told that her prayer language was of the devil and she should repent.
Everyone wanted to be in a relationship. Probably 2/3 of the students get engaged/married by their second year at that school. She was so down and out. She thought this would be a great growing experience. It was. Just not in the way she expected. She learned a lot about the new testament. She looked into a lot of issues she hadn't really considered or formed her own opinion on. She found all the scriputres about the baptism of the Holy Spirit, but she comprimised. She let standards of holiness down. She wanted to be in that "normal christian crowd."
She knew this mentatlity was all wrong so she decide to come back home and see how things went. She made new friends over the summer and was seeking God harder than she had in a long time. Without a lot of people on campus there was more freedom. There was one person in her life in particular who has made her think. He has challenged her to go foward, to go deep, to know where she stands and why thats where she stands.
She returned to her home church, the one that she left on bad terms. They have gotten a new student minister and she has been praying and mending relationships at the church which were destroyed when she walked out. She is also seeing the Spirit flow in a way that that church has never experienced before. She is soaking in all she can from her pastors.
That girl who wrote in my journals a few years ago, the girl who has been through a lot in her lifetime, the girl is being restored. She is being turned into a woman of God. Her name is Elizabeth Danielle. The name her parents gave her almost 20 years ago is becoming a reality to her. Her name literally means One who is Consecrated and set apart for God, and God is my judge.
Elizabeth [was] righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. John 1:6.
Daniel stayed true to God and prayed three times a day. He refused to bow to idols, and would not eat the food or drink the wine furnished by the King. Through his faithfulness, God gave him dreams and revelations, the power to interpret dreams, safety from his enemies, and God gave him a long life.
I want to live up to all that God thought of me when He first called my name. I know that my mother chose to have me with no doubts in her mind for a reason. When I was younger I sometimes would wish that she had either given me up for adoption or aborted me which are both situations for someone who is pregnant out of wedlock usually think of. My mother has told me before that she never once thought of either of these things.
I know that there is a purpose for my life. What that is at this point I don't know but what I do know is that I will do everything. I will press on. I will press in. I will not be moved. I will fight for my life if need be. I will share the joy of the Lord with all I come in contact with. I want to be called righteous and faithful. I want to live a life pleasing to God. Not conforming to those around me. Not giving in to condemnation for something I know is a gift from God.
This is me. This is who I am. This is who I will always be. No matter what may happen in my life, no matter what the enemy may fire at me, I will stand my ground from now on. Yes it will get tough and there will b times whn I get down, but that happens to everyone. The difference for me is I always get back up. No matter what happens, God waits around patiently and when I call out for Him, He rushes in and helps me climb back up after cleaning my wounds.
This is who I am. I will change for nobody.
Recklessly Abandoned,
Lover of Christ,
Daughter of the Most High,
Elizabeth Danielle.
The churh hurt her, she lost her innocence, that girl slowly died.
She experienced and over came a lot of pain in her life prior to coming to Christ in 2004. Most of it from her family, and a large amount from the church people. When she was about 12 her 17 year old cousin tried to kill her. He got mad at her because she wouldnt do what he said. He reasoned, "well I'm older than you so you have to do what I say." She really thought she was going to die that day. Then her grandmother came to the rescue screaming and hitting her cousin (who held the girl by her neck suffocating the life out of her). He let go and ran out of the house so angry while the young girl collapsed on the floor trying to gain her breath.
In the years before and after that incident, her father never played an active role in her life. he was there in her life but he didn't treat her as his little girl. He had his son who was 20 months younger than her and born on his dad's birthday. All little girls need to be loved and cherished by their dads. Its just how we are made. Its how God created us. Whenever that father doesn't take time with his daughter, it leaves a hole in her heart that only a father is able to fill. (the same thing goes for boys, but this is my story and I'm not a boy)
These wounded girls reach adolecence with a wounded heart longing for it to be filled. The majority of them turn to guys, mostly older ones. Some of them turn to drugs, become very depressed. They try to fill the void with basicly anything that comes along. What they don't realize is all of these things will only make that wound worse. It will become like an infecton. Overtaking them and slowly killing them emotionally, physcally and spiritually.
Something else they don't know is the healing that they can recieve. That hole can be healed and filled with the love of Father God. Lukily for the girl in my story, God intervened. All of the searching that she may have put into guys, drugs or alcohol, she put into searching out this God. At a Pure Freedom conference hosted by Dannah Gresh in 2004, she came to realize the love of the Father. She made a commitment that weekend not to date during her highschool years, not to touch alcohol or drugs. To seek out this God who poured out all of Himself for her.
For the next two and a half years she went deeper and deeper. There were times where she wondered what am I doing? Why don't I just give in and be like everyone else? She wrote many times in her journal that she longed to be understood by people, to be "normal" but she would always go on to ask what defines normality. There were a lot of times in her journey where it was so hard for her. There were a lot of things she didn't understand but she just kept going deeper.
Her youth called her a little fireball and they let her loose during drama practice and sunday night worship. They didn't understand why she didnt really like going bowling or to play paintball but everytime there was a conference that she pushed for it to happen. Her youth pastor and his wife meant a lot to her. They mentored her as much as they could, but the dreams and visions came. Heather (the youth pastor's wife) understood sensitivity to the spirit but didn't really help out much with the dreams and visions situation so the girl kept them to herself.
The youth pastor was asked to leave the church for various reasons and the girl was devastated. She wanted to know why they were "kicked out" she thought it was because the church didn't like what the Lord was doing in the youth group, she thought that the church was being legalistic. She said some hurtful things to the pastors wife who tried to comfort her and the girl left. She walked out of that church promising to never return.
There was a church down the street that her best friend invited her to. She decided to try it out because she had known the youth pastor there since middle school and he was a pretty interesting dude. There were also a lot of students she knew who went to church there. She went and within 2 months was invited to become part of the core leadership of the youth group in a program they were going to start called the Apprenticeship. She said sure.
At the beginning of the school year she signed a contract saying that she would not listen to secular music (which she didnt like anyway), that she would not date (which she already didnt do), and various other things. it wasnt out of legalism that she signed this but because she had strong convictions on those things and that was the lifestyle she was living.
By December of that year which was her senior year in highschool she was starting to doubt the existance of God. The same God who had rescued her, who had kept her, who had admired her, who loved her and cherished her. She knew deep down that no matter what He was real but she just couldnt wrap her mind around it anymore. She had stopped the writing, the drawing, the dancing. The people in this new church were about keeping a low key and not offending people. She was conforming.
She was in so much pain and despair. By basicly tuning out the God that had done so much in her life, all the hurts from her past came flooding back. She couldn't sleep. She was angry and becoming very bitter towards everyone. She met a lady named Sharon. They went to a conference, God showed up, and this girl broke down. She began to dance again, she began to love again. Her life was shattered in pieces but she was whole again. God opened up something totally new to her and it was great to know that she hadn't strayed to far to be able to hear His voice.
Graduation came and went. That summer was a great one for the girl, but it was also a hard one. She was experiencing God in a new way. This lady who she had met was now councilling her. She was being mentored and it was great. They went to theCall Nashville. 07-07-07 a day of covenants. It was a beautiful. The girl heard the voice of God. Her eyes were opened to the spiritual world once again. She was that girl again.
College happened. She was so excited for her first year at a "christian" school. It would be great. She would be able to be so open and free. She would grow so much. Thats what she thought. She was terribly wrong. When she got there within the first 2 weeks she was thinking she made a terrible mistake. She had some great friends but there were limitations on a lot of things. There was no praying in spiritual languages, even whispers in chapel. There was not a lot of movement for worship and if you did you were condemned. At one point in time she was even told that her prayer language was of the devil and she should repent.
Everyone wanted to be in a relationship. Probably 2/3 of the students get engaged/married by their second year at that school. She was so down and out. She thought this would be a great growing experience. It was. Just not in the way she expected. She learned a lot about the new testament. She looked into a lot of issues she hadn't really considered or formed her own opinion on. She found all the scriputres about the baptism of the Holy Spirit, but she comprimised. She let standards of holiness down. She wanted to be in that "normal christian crowd."
She knew this mentatlity was all wrong so she decide to come back home and see how things went. She made new friends over the summer and was seeking God harder than she had in a long time. Without a lot of people on campus there was more freedom. There was one person in her life in particular who has made her think. He has challenged her to go foward, to go deep, to know where she stands and why thats where she stands.
She returned to her home church, the one that she left on bad terms. They have gotten a new student minister and she has been praying and mending relationships at the church which were destroyed when she walked out. She is also seeing the Spirit flow in a way that that church has never experienced before. She is soaking in all she can from her pastors.
That girl who wrote in my journals a few years ago, the girl who has been through a lot in her lifetime, the girl is being restored. She is being turned into a woman of God. Her name is Elizabeth Danielle. The name her parents gave her almost 20 years ago is becoming a reality to her. Her name literally means One who is Consecrated and set apart for God, and God is my judge.
Elizabeth [was] righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. John 1:6.
Daniel stayed true to God and prayed three times a day. He refused to bow to idols, and would not eat the food or drink the wine furnished by the King. Through his faithfulness, God gave him dreams and revelations, the power to interpret dreams, safety from his enemies, and God gave him a long life.
I want to live up to all that God thought of me when He first called my name. I know that my mother chose to have me with no doubts in her mind for a reason. When I was younger I sometimes would wish that she had either given me up for adoption or aborted me which are both situations for someone who is pregnant out of wedlock usually think of. My mother has told me before that she never once thought of either of these things.
I know that there is a purpose for my life. What that is at this point I don't know but what I do know is that I will do everything. I will press on. I will press in. I will not be moved. I will fight for my life if need be. I will share the joy of the Lord with all I come in contact with. I want to be called righteous and faithful. I want to live a life pleasing to God. Not conforming to those around me. Not giving in to condemnation for something I know is a gift from God.
This is me. This is who I am. This is who I will always be. No matter what may happen in my life, no matter what the enemy may fire at me, I will stand my ground from now on. Yes it will get tough and there will b times whn I get down, but that happens to everyone. The difference for me is I always get back up. No matter what happens, God waits around patiently and when I call out for Him, He rushes in and helps me climb back up after cleaning my wounds.
This is who I am. I will change for nobody.
Recklessly Abandoned,
Lover of Christ,
Daughter of the Most High,
Elizabeth Danielle.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
the Embrace
we are in a generation who need an embrace from God. its not about the touch that the generation before us. its not about the religion or the legalism. its about the embrace. the relationship, the acceptance of the Father. This generation has experienced so much abandoment, rejection, hyprocracy and a lot of it coming from the church.Its time for something more, something real, something deep. Im going deeper. No matter what. no more comprimise from me. thats all the past 2 and years has been about. comprimise. conforming to the "christians" around me b/c i was a freak for wanting something so much deeper. well you know what. label me a freak. i dont care anymore. call me one of those weirdos, one of those extremist evangelicals. it doesnt bother me. Im going to go as far as i can. be as abandonded as possible for my King. He is who I live for. Not organized religion, not a denomination, not a movement, but the King of Kings. He is my Creator and He is my God. He is who I serve. If i have to give up all of my selfish desires, all of my plans for my future for His will. so be it. if that means i have to release one of the things I want most out of my life then so be it. I will be able to serve my God better. I've been told I was recklessly abandonded to my God and to never let that go.. I did. I laid aside who I was for somethng I thought I had to have just to realize that it doesnt matter. running away from who I am will never solve anything. It will just make me miserable and lonely while surrounded with amazing friends. You cant fix a gaping wound in someone's heart with a bandaid.... you cant put a square peg in a round hole to fill it completely.... its time for me to take that bandaid off. to let healing flow. to let go of the pain of not having that great Daddy figure that is very much needed in a little girls life to let go of the fear of being rejected by my God because I'm not worthy. Because you know what... I am worthy, because "He who knew no sin became sin that we might become the righteousness of God" get that... we are the righteousness of God.... through Christ we are worthy. I am His beloved, His daughter, His princess.... yeah I am royality and my Daddy is the King above all kings...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
the more i seek you
the more i seek you,
the more i find you,
the more i find you,
the more i love you.
i want to sit at your feet,drink from the cup in your hand
lay back and breathe
and hear your heartbeat
this love is so deep its more than i can stand
i melt in your peace its overwhelming...
~kari Jobe Christ for the Nations~
this song has been stuck in my head for all of august basically. its so true and such an amazing song. I love Jesus he is so overwhelming. out of everything i have done, even with my fickleness (if that even is a word), with my doubt, with my shame, my unbelief, He is still there wanting me to know him more. to wipe away everything. every tear, every hurt, every pain in my heart... and the peace. it is so overwhelming. there is nothing else to describe it. i will seek my Jesus all the days of my life. even still i wont find everything about Him or love Him near as much as He does me. Its like someone trying to get to the horizon to see the sun (or son) they will be going on and on but never arrive because once you get to the horizon there is only more horizon. its all about the journey. the journey of life. the journey of the soul. the journey of whatever you want to call it. its not about the destination, its about the one you are seeking. the One who can take you to the horizon....yeah thats all of my ramblings for now
the more i find you,
the more i find you,
the more i love you.
i want to sit at your feet,drink from the cup in your hand
lay back and breathe
and hear your heartbeat
this love is so deep its more than i can stand
i melt in your peace its overwhelming...
~kari Jobe Christ for the Nations~
this song has been stuck in my head for all of august basically. its so true and such an amazing song. I love Jesus he is so overwhelming. out of everything i have done, even with my fickleness (if that even is a word), with my doubt, with my shame, my unbelief, He is still there wanting me to know him more. to wipe away everything. every tear, every hurt, every pain in my heart... and the peace. it is so overwhelming. there is nothing else to describe it. i will seek my Jesus all the days of my life. even still i wont find everything about Him or love Him near as much as He does me. Its like someone trying to get to the horizon to see the sun (or son) they will be going on and on but never arrive because once you get to the horizon there is only more horizon. its all about the journey. the journey of life. the journey of the soul. the journey of whatever you want to call it. its not about the destination, its about the one you are seeking. the One who can take you to the horizon....yeah thats all of my ramblings for now
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